So my hair has been this dyed red for ages. Like 4 years maybe...? And lots of people think I'm naturally ginger, which is great, because I have such an unexplainable attraction to gingers, and I think ginger hair is the prettiest thing ever (The young Lily in HP was gorgeous, I was sooooo jealous of her hair colour).

But enough is enough, I'm bored as hell, and I'm not even a real ginger, my real hair is a dark dirty blond that I think kept getting darker, before i started dying the hell out of it. And red hair is so hard to maintain, the colour fades so easily, so I end up with brassy hair. It's just not worth the money and effort anymore, really.

Which is why I got so bored yesterday, that i went and dyed my hair dark brown. Which is nice. I'm not used to it, never having seen myself with dark brown hair. I look more Asian now I guess, now you can tell that I'm mixed. Before I just looked like...a white girl, with the blonde/red hair. Whatever, my mum likes it, haha.

I was youtube-ing hair ideas yesterday, and I really wanna do this...

I don't know. My hair colour is about that dark as well. But I'm not sure if it's...flattering? Looks nice?
I always wanted to try ombre hair, and I just think that it looks kinda...cool? Haha. I'm not sure, I keep looking at the hair, and it goes from loving it to not so much...

I just want a change :D I want a new hair style/colour/anything...

Any suggestions? Yes/No?
Any input is welcome :D

It was weird watching the HnA special with Shimada Shinsuke and Abe Hiroshi. While I found Mr Hiroshi adorable as always :DDD Shimada Shinsuke just kinda…shocked me with his comments.

I don't know if any of my flist has also watched the episode, but his comments on marriage and cheating etc was just too…shocking for me.

( Shimada and his marriage talk...Collapse )

I don't know how this essay came about, but just watching this Special, I was so weirded out, haha. Especially after my boyfriend and I broke up after he was cheating on me; maybe I'm just sensitive, haha.

Hope you guys are doing good!~

I am beyond horrified, London is literally burning to the ground. So senseless and utterly stupid, there are no other words to describe this level of fuckery. I am beyond words...Why are these people doing this to their own country, it will not solve anything, but just cost the country more in damages/repairs etc and add more problems.

I hope my family just stays safe, so far they are doing pretty well...even though they're in London, they're safe for now. But the violence is spreading, especially now i"m worried about my uni mates in Machester, I miss them so much and I hope to god they stay safe. And for the rest of the affected regions (Liverpool/etc...) I heard its spreading to Leeds and beyond :/ Hope this violence and stupidity will stop, there is no reason for it. Times like these really make me lose faith in humanity. If these people are the ones that are supposed to be the future, there is very little hope left, it would seem.

For all people in my flist or in general living in London/Liverpool/Manchester/Birmingham etc, I hope you guys stay safe and stay strong!~

Been watching alot more tv/movies etc these past few weeks. Especially dramas, finally getting back into them. I don't know any more good dramas though :/ I don't know what recent dramas that are good, since I haven't been keeping up. Basically, I've just been doing trial and error, lol.

Chuno is so amazing, I can't even. I don't know why I didn't watch it when it originally was on tv, but now I cant stop watching it. I love it so much :D I never much liked Jang Hyuk in any of his other work, but this one was so good. I didn't really think of him as the actor, but as Dae Gil himself. Its going to be hard from now on to separate the two :D

Don Quixote too, lol. So cute and funny. And of course, Matsuda Shota <3

And I tried watching GANTZ. I don't get it, hahahahaha. Well I get it now, after I finished the movie. But watching the first 20 minutes, I had no damn idea what was going on. And even after that I was so confused. It was only around the middle of the movie that I fully got what was going on. It's such a weird movie, it doesn't always make sense, and it's just so...weird.

I don't know. I watched a few episodes of the manga, and it was...disturbing. Apparently, according to my friend who watches a ton of anime, its quite normal. But for me, who's never watched any, it was just..odd, lol. But I didn't really understand that either so I have it up and watched the movie. Welll...we'll just watch part 2 and see how the story goes. So far, GANTZ is just...weird. And confusing.

Got in contact with my dad in Tokyo. He's fine, nothing's wrong. His girlfriend/fiancee/wife(whatever the fuck happened with that situation) is also fine. Couldn't get in contact for a while and I was worried sick, but still, everything else is a mess. I was reading all my tweets from cnn/bbc and i just stopped watching the coverage, it was too much for me.

But then instead I got to this.

Hope you guys can see that. It is just so fucking stupid.
These people are fucking idiots who should not be able to go on the internet to pollute us with their dumbfuckery.
None of them were even alive when Pearl Harbour happened. I don't even know if any of them truly know the events that led up to Pearl Harbour or what happened to the Japanese after Pearl Harbour. Atomic bombs, so many lives lost. Innocent lives. Just like Pearl Harbour.
Who are these fucking losers to say that Japan deserves this after Pearl Harbour! WTF is this! I cannot even say how much I am raging right now because of these people.

It is just beyond me how much some can just go about their lives and be...happy(is that the word?) for the loss of so many lives for no reason, because of a natural disaster. I don't get it. I don't even have words.

I just can't even say anything. I am so incoherent right now. It's just so wrong and misguided, I hope they get the fuck over themselves and their fucked up sense of righteousness or whatever the hell you call it. No one deserves this, not even "those Japanese that bombed Pearl Harbour". Innocent people, not involved in Pearl Harbour, died as well. Just seeing those images non stop, I can't even go on watching, I got so sick. But these comments, it scares me.

Sorry for being so MIA. I've been having a little bit of a hard time :/

I just kinda died a little when I read those comments.

It's just so ingrain in me. In everybody, really. But today I was just sitting on the couch thinking about life, and why I view myself less than amazing. Because why shouldn't I be amazing, I should not settle for mediocre. However. Everytime I look in  the mirror, there's something I see that I don't like or want to change and just be different.

You always hear everyone say "you are who you are, you're unique and amazing, love yourself" when in reality, its alot harder to do so. Where does insecutiry come from though? From your ownself? Or from others and the comments they unintentionally/intentionally make that subconsciously make you change the way you think about yourself?

Because sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, I like what I see. I don't see all the faults that everyone else sees. But when I get comments about my appearance or something to the extent, I just can't help obsessing over it.

What's so great about looking perfect anyway. Life would be piss boring if everyone were cookie cutter good looking clones of each other. Faults build a person's character. And how will my life change if I really were to change the way I look? My nose may be a little crooked, but how will my life change so amazingly if it wasn't? it really that great, is it really? Aren't I pretty happy as it is?

My aim in life now going forth is to be happy with who I am. No matter how I look. To look what I consider my best, and even if anyone says otherwise, just to be happy with who I am. Insecurity starts with someone from the outside, a comment or even a picture or message in a magazine, but it doesn't have to change how I feel about myself.

Having more confidence will go a long way. You just have to believe in yourself, Von.

ugh, Jay. What is happening now? :(
I was far from a Jay fan at first, I thought he was just this annoying b-boy wannabe in an idol boy band and that he had no real interest at all and was just there for the hell of it. In short, he was my least favourite right off the bat.

But then I watched Idol Army (oh god, how I was so damn addicted to that show) and when Wild Bunny came, my whole hate was shot to hell.
No one in the world would be that willing to look like such an idiot on national television if he had no interest in the first place..

He never was up there, I wasn't a hardcore fan of his, but seriously when he left ;_;
And now, he's never coming back? It makes it so much more worse.

I can't like 2PM as much without Jay as I did when he was there. He wasn't my favourite, but I think they all acted differently(?) when he was there. They were funnier and livelier and just more engaging than what they are now. Now, Taec's just not as funny and doesn't have quite that leader vibe as he did, and there's just something missing.
I guess it has to do partly with the fact that the constant question of is he/is he not coming back hanging over their heads.
But right now...2PM without him is really a different band. You don't truly realise what he did for the band till he's gone.

Well, it's time to let it go. I'm not angry with JYPE or anyone, all good things must come to an end. And although this is probably the worst ending in life, it had to happen one way or another.

Still hoping that this is just some stupid shit that someone started, but I totally doubt that's true. People are going batshit insane over here, and I try not to join in the hysteria :D
I'm sure he will treasure the times he had with 2PM greatly~
Just hope he has more good days ahead and he's happy now ;)

PS. I'm not one to write these sort of things, but after such a long time waiting for an answer, well...